August Resource Roundup: Reclaiming My Time

August Resource Roundup: Reclaiming My Time

AugustResourceRoundup

OK, Gentlewomen,

August brings two AMAZING articles for our inspirational resource roundup, both happen to be from Quartz Media. 

First, an article about how romance writers can churn out material like it’s their JOB. Because, you know… it is.

Professional romance novelists can write 3,000 words a day. Here’s how they do it

It’s so easy for us artistic types to wait for the muse before really getting down to work. I know I’ve been there, and I would bet that you have, too. But you’ve heard it before (and it really is true) that SHOWING UP day after day after day to create your art is the best way to invite the muse. 

It reminds me of an anecdote that I come back to a LOT. I originally heard it from a class that Ria Sharon teaches on Skillshare, but I’m not sure the origin of it. You may have heard it before.

In the story, there is a ceramics class. The teacher breaks up the class into two different groups. The teacher tells one group that their final grade will be based on the quantity of pots they produce. So, 50 pounds of pots might equal an A, 40 pounds a B, and so on.

The teacher tells the second group that their final grade will be based on quality. They only have to produce one pot all semester, but it must be a perfect one to get an A.

At the end of the semester, however, the highest QUALITY pots came from the group that was being graded on quantity. The moral of the story, of course, is that the best way for the students to improve their craft was to make as many as they could, day after day. It’s definitely a reminder that I need to come back to.


OK, second: 

“Reclaiming my time”: Strategies from a scholar of chronemics, the study of time

Don’t let the headline throw you off, this article was fantastic. There are so many parts that I want to quote, so many ways of thinking about time and how we relate to it that I had never stopped to examine. Thank goodness for Dawna Ballard, who is examining them. I’ll give just a few of my favorites here

Ask someone, “Hey, how’s it going?” she says, and they’ll probably answer by referring to how busy they are, or the vacation that starts the next day, or the limbo they’re in waiting for a message to be returned. They might mention the angst of a traffic or subway delay, and if it’s Friday, they may thank God for it. How we’re experiencing time is how we are.

…we’ve absorbed the message that “your time-discipline is a measure of your virtue as a person.

(Yikes! She’s right!)

I highly encourage you to go read the article not only for the Big Thoughts, but also for the genuinely helpful information that Ballard has about the way we interact with time (including a concept that I know a lot of artists and crafters struggle with: “Refuse to do unpaid labor”). Go take a look at the article and make sure you let me know what you think of it.

Go forth and conquer.

3 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Say “Yes”

3 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Say “Yes”

3QuestionstoAskYourselfBeforeYouSayYes

Are you a people-pleaser? I know I am. I hate the thought that someone, somewhere might think anything negative about me.

Of course, this is silly, and we’ll get more into why it’s silly in a moment, but when you want everyone to be happy with you all the time?

It is really, really, REALLY hard to say “no.”

It’s become a joke with me and some friends that there’s a magical phrase that can convince me to do anything:

“I need your help.”

I can’t resist! I so easily fall under the power of “Somebody wants MY help! I feel needed! I want to be helpful!”

The truth is, though, saying yes to everything has gotten me into hot water more than a few times. I find myself running ragged, too busy, with too many spinning wheels, AND feeling resentful over these things I’ve agreed to help with. I end up being angry with myself and resenting the people I’ve said “yes” to.

Over the past year, I’ve been working hard on saying “No.” It does not come naturally to me. What about you? Do you find yourself in the same predicament? If so, here are 3 questions that I’ve started using that help make “no” trip more easily off the tongue. 

1. WHAT’S MY MOTIVATION?

If you’re inclined to say yes, take a moment and consider WHY. Would you be saying yes out of a genuine desire to take on the project? Or is the motivation, deep-down, more out of a sense of obligation? 

Your sense of motivation will ultimately be the engine that drives your work. If you’re excited about a project, you are less likely to procrastinate and less likely to feel resentment. By the way, neither of these motivations are inherently good or bad–obligation has its place.

“Genuine desire” and “obligation” are also not to only two options. Are they offering to drive a dump truck of money up to your house? That can be pretty motivating! Before you agree to it, try to understand why you might do it. 

 

2. HOW MUCH TIME WILL THIS ACTUALLY TAKE?

How much time (or money or resources) will this project actually take? Take whatever they tell you, then tack on a little bit more. Are you willing to devote the resources gladly? Even if the time goes past what you were promised or the budget creeps up a little bit?

Take note, too, of the potential emotional cost of the project. If you hesitantly agree to extra work, you are signing up with the advance knowledge that you may run out of motivation before the project is done. Before you say “yes”, understand that your emotional stores may run dry. Do you have adequate self-care techniques lined up for when you begin to lose emotional connection?

 

3. WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF SAYING “NO”?

Remember when I said that “I hate the thought that someone, somewhere might think anything negative about me”? That, to me, is usually the biggest consequence of saying “no”. You mean someone might be slightly put-out or annoyed by my refusal? PERISH THE THOUGHT!

Yeah, it’s a little self-centered and dramatic that I feel this way. First off, I’m sure there are people around who find me annoying or who think I’m selfish with my time. That’s life and I just have to deal with it. Secondly, I’m sure nobody is losing sleep obessing over something I said. Eleanor Roosevelt said it best, “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” Thirdly, would I be genuinely angry with someone who politely declined? Probably not (and chances are, they wouldn’t be genuinely angry with my refusal, either).

Other consequences of saying “no” could be a final product that isn’t done “the way you would have done it.” Or it simply could be the living with the knowledge that someone else will have to do all the work. 

If answering these questions produces a giant neon sign that screams “NO!” at you, then you have a fairly simple answer. Of course, that’s not necessarily how it’s going to be. Take stock of each of these questions and weigh them together. Hopefully, there will be one or two factors that will tip the scales in favor of one answer.

I’ll leave you with two parting thoughts that I hope will help you:

  1. Unless the question is “Will you help me perform emergency surgery on this patient?”, a response of “Let me think about it and get back to you,” is always appropriate if you need time to consider the questions above.

  2. Are the imaginary scales equal when you rationally consider the above questions? Then drop rationality and go with your gut. “I have a bad feeling about it” can override your logical responses.

Do you have a question that you ask yourself before you say “yes”? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below!

DO YOU NEED HELP ORGANIZING YOUR CLUTTERED TASK LIST? ARE YOU OVERWHELMED BY A BIG PROJECT AND WANT HELP BREAKING IT DOWN TO MANAGEABLE PIECES? I CAN HELP. CLICK HERE TO TALK TO ME.

July Resource Roundup: Should You Bother Learning That New Skill?

July Resource Roundup: Should You Bother Learning That New Skill?

JulyResourceRoundup

Gentlewomen,

If you are anything like me (a multi-passionate creative type), you collect new knowledge and hobbies like others collect credit card rewards points. You may be like me and want to learn new things, but before you’re great at that new thing, you’re ready to move on and learn something else!

If so, here’s two great resources from July, both on the same topic. I recommend reading both because they each have individual takeaways.

1. “TOP TEN STRATEGIES FOR LEARNING NEW SKILLS” BY FAHREEN GANI FROM ZAPIER

 

Though the article isn’t chock-full of brand-new information, I appreciate the reminders (particularly about making information meaningful in order to remember it–telling ourselves stories really helps information stick!)

2. “THE 4 KEYS TO LEARNING ANYTHING” BY LEO BABAUTA IN ZEN HABITS

 

Oh, yeah, that’s the stuff. Leo starts out with the bad feelings that often accompany learning new skills or information: the feeling over being overwhelmed, the fear of failure. The article ends by flipping all of those negative feelings upside down and showing the benefit of each and how to be gentle with ourselves as we learn. 

And, the paradox:

Earlier in the month, I downloaded a few language training apps. My husband is always trying to learn new languages and I’m always *wishing* I spoke better French. So I downloaded some new apps and decided to keep at it.

Then I read this article by Jenny Marchal in Lifehack. In it, Marchal describes the goal lists that Warren Buffett recommends and it breaks down like this:

  1. Make a list of your top 25 life goals

  2. Think about which goals are the most important to you. Go through your list of 25 and cross off the ones that are less important to you until you have 5 goals remaining. These are your REAL goals.

  3. Concentrate only on those 5. Spend your time on those 5 and none of the others.

And I get what he’s saying: those of us who are always wanting to learn or do something new can have a hard time focusing on what’s important. So I wrote my list of goals and you know what didn’t make it to the top five? Learning better French.

Sure, it may be on that list of 25 goals. And maybe someday it will even be in the top 5. But right now, it’s not. So let it go! I feel better already.

What about you? If you’ve found an article or anything else that has been on your mind through the month, share it with the other Gentlewomen! Et merci!

DO YOU NEED HELP WEEDING THROUGH THE TASK CLUTTER IN YOUR LIFE? SIGN UP FOR A ONE-ON-ONE PRODUCTIVITY SESSION WITH ME!

What I Learned in a Week of Time-Batching

What I Learned in a Week of Time-Batching

WhatILearnedinaWeekofTime Batching

Despite a natural tendency to be a bit scatter-brained (and a nagging suspicion that ADHD might run in my family), I pride myself on being a productive, fairly organized individual. I have a love for time-management, even if I sometimes lose focus and let my inclinations lead the day (I like to think that finding time-management that works despite my natural tendencies makes me even better-equipped to work with other easily-distracted creatives).

So when I noticed that my days were starting to run away with me, I knew I needed to get a handle on it. 

A BRIEF, EMBARASSINGLY HONEST DESCRIPTION OF HOW MY DAYS LOOK WITHOUT TIME-MANAGEMENT:

  • 6:30-8:00: Wake up, make breakfast and lunches for kids, get them off the school, walk the dog, eat breakfast, get dressed

  • 8:00-8:20: Check some e-mails

  • 8:20-8:40: Facebook

  • 8:40-9:30: Respond to emails from earlier, make a list of things to do

  • 9:30-9:45: Facebook, probably?

  • 9:45-9:55: Remember that I really need to do laundry. Trudge up three flights of stairs to collect dirty clothes. See toothpaste globs in bathroom sink and stop to clean it. Immediately forget about laundry.

  • 9:55-9:58: Go back downstairs and remember that I was *supposed* to be collecting dirty laundry. Decide I should probably get some work done before my morning meeting. Remind myself NOT TO FORGET THE LAUNDRY. Forget laundry until 8 pm.

  • 9:58-10:20: Do some work

  • 10:20-10:30: Know that I’m not going to get much done in the 10 minutes before my meeting. Check Facebook to pass the time.

You get the idea. Anybody else deal with this? Clearly, this (lack of a) schedule was NOT working.

ENTER: TIME-BATCHING

When I decided to try time-batching for a week, it wasn’t my first trip to the rodeo with it. I had tried time-batching before (maybe a bit half-heartedly), but I decided this time I was going to really put effort into it. One week of time-batching just to see if it made a difference in my productivity.

In case the concept is new to you, time-batching is really just a way of dividing your time into related tasks and doing all of those related tasks in one go. Then you take a break and move to a different set of related tasks. There’s a good article about it here, if you want some more background on the idea. I’m going to share with you some of the things I learned when I really gave time-batching an honesty try.

1. YOUR SCHEDULING WON’T BE PERFECT, AND THAT’S OKAY

There are people who swear by the concept of “only checking/responding to your email at specific times every day.” Honestly, I have not been able to get there. Because of the nature of my day job, I get random questions throughout the day that may need to be dealt with immediately. I deal with them. I go back to what I was doing. It’s not perfect, but I am not the type of person who can shut down her email server for four hours at a time.

Similarly, every day may look different. I may work 7 hours one day at one “job” and then only work that “job” for two hours the next day. 

2. SOCIAL MEDIA: SCHEDULE IT. SERIOUSLY.

It’s good to take a break every now and then. It is NOT good to take a break every twenty minutes.

3. TIME-BATCHING HELPED ME ACCOMPLISH MUCH MORE THAN USUAL

Despite my possibly-imperfect method of time-batching, I was MUCH more productive during this trial week. I mean, I was checking things off my to-do list like a BOSS. I was checking things off my list that had been on there for weeks. Do you get that little rush of endorphins when you check things off of your to-do list? Of course you do. 

If you time-batch, how has it worked for you? Have you found another method that works better for you? Let me hear about it below!